Thoughts on Forgiveness
Forgiveness is discussed as if we owe it to ourselves, or to someone else, to forgive. Like it’s the right thing to do, or the bigger thing, or the more enlightened thing to do. To forgive. So many of us don’t even fully comprehend what it is to forgive someone. Is it to fully move on from whatever hurt us? Is it to tell someone that it is okay they hurt you? Is it to maintain a relationship in spite of a past hurt? There are infinite nuances to forgiveness, and every wisdom tradition has its own context and advice about forgiveness. But I’m here to say that we do not inherently owe it to anyone (ourselves, others, or even God) to forgive. Some hurts will stay in our bodies for the rest of our lives, regardless of how much healing we embark upon. There are ways people treat each other that are cruel, and we don’t have to pretend they are not. We can understand that hurt people hurt people, and still not be able to move on. Or forward. Or through. Every wound that we incur becomes som